Oh how I loved this decade and now on to the new!

How was your decade? I hope it was enjoyed in good health and with lots of new adventures. I was 65 when our century turned, my life was good but empty; nothing was wrong but nothing was right. I felt lonely lacking friends and some outs with family. I believe it began all over again when my son gave me a gift of dating on line. Soon love began to storm into my life and in the age of retirement my life became more and more exciting crossing boundaries never crossed before. I wrote a book for the first time in my life; written out of passion. In order to promote the book I had to learn to speak, so I went to Toastmasters and had an over the top book launch entertaining 100 guest. I became my own agent and booked myself across the country into Barnes and Noble, Borders etc.driving 9000 miles driving alone in my mustang. It has been two years since the book was launched and I am still busy promoting giving lectures on Living agelessly, Living passionately. Of course I was disappointed that it was not a best seller. After all my ego thought it would be. Nor did it become the major motion picture with stars clamoring for the lead; at least not yet. However, it led me to meeting new people including having Alec Baldwins arms around me in the Hampton's, newspaper articles lots of books sold and "Author" as part of my resume. I left Miami beach my home for 18 years and moved back to NYC becoming closer to my family. We still all live on opposite sides of the universe, but NYC seems more central and I get to see much more of them. There were two major trips for me this decade, 2 months in Africa and 2 months in India backpacking both times while learning and having fun. There were cruises and short trips here and there. And then there were the falls, the broken bones leaving me incapacitated for months, reminding me that I was a major Klutz or just simply getting older. But when the last segment of bone healed I picked myself up, like it never happened, and went on to the next adventure.
At 75, I am happily single, I am in love with my life and my family and NYC. More love will come and more friends will come as this is what is already happening, love storming in again.
What I want from now on is simple:
Good health and to have a good time and the same for my family.
The point of me telling you this is that, "yes, I am older but that does not mean I have to be old. Going to Doctors has not become my new social life as I see in many contemporaries. I do all I can to help nature by following the rules to good health and taking it seriously.
Presently, I am writing a new book, this time for children. It is taking me a bit longer to write this time, but does it matter? I am speaking to women's groups on living agelessly and living passionately and am booked in several places next year.
The second point of me telling you this, is life holds so much for each and every one of us. What we choose to do with it is in our heads and how we feel about our own selves.
If you do feel lonely or lusterless, lacking adventure, at no matter what age, go out and MAKE A STORY. People like to listen to good stories and when it all comes down to it, that is who we are, a story to be told.
love,
carol sue gershman

Xmas lunch invite to my family laughed my head off writing it.

DEAR LITTLE FOXES, LITTLE KUSTERS, LITTLE DAVIS' LITTLE LIPMANS AND MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
 
We are going to meet the FOCKING LITTLE FOCKERS on Xmas day.
 
First, We will have a FOCKING roasted Duckling FOCKING lunch at 1:30
 
We will leave my FOCKING apartment at 4:15 so those FOCKING LITTLE FOCKERS don"t start with out us.

 
Afterwards we will come back here for a FOCKING FOCKER Dessert filled with FOCKING calories
 
See you at the FOCKING Copley in my FOCKING apartment
 
MERRY FOCKING XMAS
 
xxoo
Carol FOCKING sue
P. S. Foxes, drive your FO
 

A good salesman is a good person and salesman

Went to buy a mattress early this morning. The store was barely open when I met an employee in the entrance way.
I said, "Let me in, I want to buy a mattress." P. S. After 23 years I could not wait another hour.
He was a nice guy and I told him to go take off his hat and coat and show me mattresses. He laughed and politely told me to wait upstairs.
As I reached the second floor a woman salesperson approached me. I told her I was waiting for someone to help me. She said," He thinks he will wait on you but I get the first customer of the day." "Oh, I said; "O. K."
She asked me a lot of annoying questions but I was stuck with her. She led me from one mattress to another and there I was lying down all over the store.
Then came the first salesman but she told him, "sorry I am waiting on this customer." He shyly walked away.
Then she said, "he was out of order."
I said, "I thought he was nice."
'I am sorry and I apologize for his behavior, he had no right to this sale.'
"I did not think he showed bad behavior; I liked him, in fact I would like him to take over THIS sale." P. S. I held my breath not to tell her she was the one showing bad behavior.
She had no choice to go and get him and yup he made the sale and I have a new pillow top mattress coming Thursday.
Moral: Do not tattle to a customer about a fellow employee.
Don't try to steal a customer.
What you think? Do you like a pillow top mattress?
Carol Sue Gershman

Runaway Jewish Ladies from Katz's Delicatessen/nyc

Walked into Katz's (a rare treat) with my friend. We were handed 2 pink slips, one for her and one for me. The doorman said, '"Bring them back when you leave.'
We indulged in pea soup, hot pastrami, pickles, happy to taste the good food, enjoying our treat.
The waiter wrote the bill on one of the pink slips. We went to the register and paid.
The doorman said, "I am missing a pink slip." I responded, I am sorry, I don't have it, somehow it got lost, but we did pay."
"I am sorry, he said, you cannot leave without giving me the other pink slip."
I said, "What are you talking about as I tried to exit." If you touch me I will consider it an assault and will call the police; go find your pink ticket."
You listen to me, It is no longer on the table, I do not have it and you are making us late for the movie."
"No ticket, no exit."
"Call the manager, I said."
We waited patiently and angrily, standing in our fur coats and hats, for her to wobble over, taking her time as our clock was ticking to make the film, we were pressed for time.
"Sorry ladies, you need your ticket, where were you sitting, who was your waiter?"
Exasperated, I replied it is no longer Is on the table or in our possession."
"Stand here and I will try to find it, as she wobbled away from us."
"We are going to miss our movie."
As the blocking doorman leaned over to talk to someone, I saw our exit. I grabbed my friend and said, "RUN."
There we were escaping down Houston Street, running down the street, looking over our shoulder to see if we were being captured, huffing and puffing, dashing into the subway and on to the train, leaving no trail behind and just in time for the movie.

Carol Sue Gershman
"

My daughter Leslie's Happy 75th Birthday to me

My Mom

My Mom, in life she dares
but the bottom line is,
she always cares.
There is no one else like her
In the world,
She is bold and gorgeous,
And looks (and acts)
The opposite of old.
An independent spirit,
No one can match,
Traveling alone across the oceans path.
She is fearless and strong,
And yet deep down,
Is a kind sweet soul we
knew is there all along.
Capable of all kinds of extremes,
she is hot and sexy,
and yet can cook sweet potatoes,
beyond all of our dreams.
Who ever could know she could
Write and speak so very well.
An inspiration, a role model,
She continues to impress me,
Oh so well.
She is dedicated to her family,
And wants the best for us all,
And in that she’s a little Jewish,
because she gets very upset
If you don’t call!
I’ve been lucky to feel her love,
since I’ve been alive,
And only wish I’m as
Amazing
Inspirational
and Genuine,
When I’m 75!

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you, Leslie

India 2010 at 75

India represents all of life and no place does it better than Varanasi. From the sweet infants, to the thousands of children, to the absolutely gorgeous Indian girls and young moms who grow into fat women, to the deformed, the beggars, the pushers, the old and then the burning ghats where 60 dead people a day are put to rest. This is India all out in the open each day, every day.

The last week I decided t6o go to Osho Ashram in Pune, outside of Mumbai. I had heard about it for many years. I had no idea that I was entering a spiritual concentration camp where I would have to abide to their orders. I had to buy a maroon robe, a white robe to be allowed in. I would have to wear the maroon robe all day long until it was time to change into the white robe in the evening. I was not allowed in their gorgeous lavish pool until I bought a maroon bathing suit. If I was one minute late for any program I would not be allowed in. Once inside I could not cough, sneeze, or clear my throat. There were guards all over checking my ID. I had to take an aids test and after paying their entrance fee, I had to pay to swim in their marble pool. It all gave me a headache and stressed me out. But once they tamed the tiger, I did not want to leave.

I would say, if you have not been, hurry up and go. India is growing rapidly and change is, and will be coming fast. Some places are already somewhat westernized; some are caught between at this point. Already they are tourist friendly and tourist ready. This will be the place we are all looking for!

Love,
Carol Sue Gershman

India 2010 at 75

As I watched one hot sunny afternoon the air conditioned comfy tour bus, filled with white face faces pull away, I wondered why I sat on the dusty,dirty curb waiting for the National rickety bus to barrel down the road to take me to my next stop.

I took my seat at the open window and felt the fresh breeze on my face from the mountainous air and smiled. Across from me sat two wildly gorgeous Hindi gypsy women lavished in vibrant red and purple saris.Their jewels started on their fingers and their bracelets covered both arms right up to their shoulders. They had a large piece of festive cloth that they tied to the seat handles in front of them making a unique crib for their baby. Another son was dressed from the waist up only. Their husbands who paid no attention to them during the almost four hour trip wore white, with red turbans and they were great to look at as well. At the front of the bus was a Muslim woman who was having a bout with an Indian man. Of course I could not understand one word, but she was screaming at the top of her lungs and putting him in his place. I sat mesmerized the entire trip and why I take the local bus.

It has been much the same here in India for the past six weeks. I feel like I have been on a continuous movie set, part of a strange new world. I have not read more than a few page of Gandhi's auto biography as life is far too interesting; so I watch, witness and then I sleep.

They told me not to come. What are you nuts? India alone? at 75? It is different, the sickness, the poverty, the dirt, the filth. At least take an organized tour or at the very least have an itinerary. I listened, but I believed more in myself and how I like to travel.

I have seen all of the Temples, Palaces and Forts that I care to see. I have walked the narrow packed cobblestone paths in their town along side of loving cows. I watch them drink out of public water fountains and had flirtations with many. The dogs roam on the other side of me and monkeys jump over head. I played tic tack toe jumping over the cow shit and dog shit and missed twice. The horns beep from the thousands of motor cycles, rickshaws and cars. Here they ask you to please beep and they do till you want to scream from the noise. The merchants are pushy and try everything to lure you into their shops and again you want to scream "get away from me" and I did.
I have met lovely people and have met myself over and over again. The shopping is beyond fun and must admit I have gone nuts. My favorite kind of day is cash machine, rick shaw, shop. Next day, cash machine, rick shaw, shop. I have never felt more self indulged.

On the whole, the people are lovely and kind and will do anything to help you. One man gave up his desk and phone for 45 minutes while I tried to correct an airline ticket I bought; bad enough to do in the States. They do not smoke, but chew tobacco instead. While the streets are filled with dirt and dust, the people are clean. The weather has been divine. Rain for one hour the entire 6 weeks.

I witnessed the most poverty at the train stations. Children sleeping on the cement, rats running around, beggars and the terribly deformed with beautiful smiling faces.Then a cow wanders in and I shook my head and laughed. Once on the train there were banana peels under my seat, so I called the attendant. He stooped down, looked and stared and had no idea what I wanted him to do. So I slept with banana peels under my bed.

What is so fascinating about India is that each place is different. The Indians are wildly colorful,I have swam in the Ganges along side of cows, enjoyed the fresh water pools; The Taj Mahal will never let me forget my 75th birthday and to watch the prayers and their cleansing in the river is amazing.

There seems to be plenty of food and a lot of the children are well schooled. In the slum areas they are put to work early depending on their parents. One morning I went out to get my wash that I hung on the line only to see across the field a shack with a mother and two babies. I thought to myself, how can live be this divided. I wandered over to meet them and was invited into their shack. There was one cot, and blankets on the cement floors for the children. They cooked outside, I gave them some money and when I said goodbye I crossed the field back into my life of swimming pools, massages, gorgeous room and delicious food. There by the grace of God go I.

New York, What a wonderful town, especially if you are single!

Yesterday was a quiet day, no plans so I simply went out.

I found myself in Harlem (116th st) looking for kitchen tiles, heard there was a great place to go.
They were closed but enjoyed the ethnic crowd, amazing street life, people eating, laughing, selling, and dancing the salsa on an outdoor platform, the music blasting onto the street.

Stopped in for a $16.00 manicure and pedicure (perfect) while munching on my lunch of sliced turkey, Munster cheese and organic greens bought at local super market. (not so ethnic but healthy)

On the side street neighbors were gathered on their own chairs, some in African attire. I passed a church lady getting ready for Sunday in a fabulous hat and colorful dress, men gathered and playing chess.

Then, there it was, the brand new condo just completed with expensive cleaners, health club, bank, and brokerage firm. I asked if I could use the bathroom at the health club and had to go through the interrogation; "Am I a member?" Sorry, this is for members only. ( change is on the way) P. S. Wendy's was more accomodating.

Took the subway down to Lincoln Center (my blessed area) and fell right into a movie at the cinema, Cairo Time. Great travelogue on Cairo.

Started walking home when I saw a crowd at Lincoln Center. Opera season was under way. Chairs for 1000 plus people outdoors on the veranda with a huge screen. The weather was gorgeous and we sat in awe watching and listening to the intense Tosca.

Would I have had as much fun if I had plans? I doubt it.

Carol Sue Gershman

A vist to my Ex-husband/ Basalt, Colorado

LIFE IS A STORY.
 
I know Norman now, how excited you were that I was coming to visit you. I know Norman now that you went all out to clean and beautify your already clean and beautiful home for, in your words," The Queen was arriving." Not only that, I know now, that you went out and bought $500.00 worth of magnificent flowers to place around the house; there were chocolate truffles on my bed.
 
You anxiously picked me up at the airport, happy to see me, as I was to see you On the way home I told you that I wanted nothing more than to hang out and have a peaceful time. This enforced the good time you were going to have with me.


NEXT SCENE...2 hours later
 
Hearing that a mutual friend was in town, I innocently invited Tita and her clan over thinking how nice it would be to see her. She wanted to take photos of her 3 nieces. Knowing how you love photography and your home, I thought you would enjoy having your home as the background of their Xmas card. I did tell you but I did not ask you.
In they walked, in a group , with platters of cheeses, salamis and crackers; their white wine is poured and within 2 hours of my arrival, l I know now, that your peaceful perfect home was turned into a party scene.
NEXT SCENE
 
We all went down to the river enjoying conversation and the beauty of the river, but back in the living room (party room,) your 2 puppy's are having a hey day. They are eating cheese and crackers and in order to get into the wine, they knock over the bottle onto your perfectly cleaned sofa and rug.

NEXT SCENE
You arrive back in the living room and I follow only to see you standing in a frenzie with a sofa pillow in hand, practically crying, "My sofa, my rug" look what happened; I have just had everything cleaned to perfection as your face changes from peace to outrageous anger. "Don't worry, Norman I will clean it," I said, as I ran into the garage to find the best stuff to remove the stain that might or might not have been there." "Don't touch my carpet, you screamed with horror;" but I was compelled to clean it for you, knowing that I could. "Stop taking over the house, you are a guest here, you yelled." " I can do it, I can do it Norman ," as you called the carpet cleaner with horror in you voice.


NEXT SCENE ... 15 minutes later
You left on a bicycle and when you did, I ran to the back deck to chase the clan out. "You must leave IMMEDIATELY. You can not stay a moment longer. Tita, please go, Norman is outraged."
 
As they left my anger about the outrage turned to depression. How could this have happened; how can I stay in this house for a week? Do I leave, do I stay, I am upsetting his life, his routine; how he yelled at me is inconcievable, like back in the old days, over a sofa and a rug. What is wrong with him? What has happened to him?"

NEXT SCENE
Norman, as you might not know, I stayed clear for a few days, the library, the baths, not knowing until this morning, that it hardly had anything to do with a sofa or a rug.

NEXT SCENE
This morning we had tea and you told me about "the scene." You told me what you felt and I wanted to cry. I heard from you that within 2 hours how I destroyed your dream; the love you were feeling. How could I, I thought as I listened. I reached out and apologized to you as I had done earlier in the week, but this time with the same heartfelt emotion and love you had.
 

NEXT SCENE
I LOVE YOU TOO NORMAN, always have, always will. Be healthy and happy.
Carol Sue
AND WE ARE STILL HERE TO MAKE STORIES.
 

Daring Business man/good lesson

loved Colonel Sanders bio. (Fried chicken) At 65 a new daring business selling it for $2,000,000. However, he was old fashioned, did not believe in stock, so took the cash, only to see his guarded recipe turn into billions. He sold his name as well. Moral is guard what is yours and what you believe in; as they say in some countries: Guard your camel. Once it is sold, it is sold... P. S. He died a happy man, I understand.
Carol Sue Gershman

Thank You.... Say it more and more

How many times a day do you say Thank you? I hear myself saying it more and more. Have I become more humble? more polite? more appreciative? kinder? It is a lovely term!
Carol Sue Gershman

Broken bones/Does that mean I am getting old or just a klutz?

Oh how I love to fall and break my bones. Just kidding, but seems like it is my fate.

I have had 7 falls with 4 broken bones. I guess my first fall happened in my 50's. (years old) I slipped on a plastic bag in my apartment, landed on my hard wood floor on my shoulder. It was horrible and when the Dr. told me It would be at least three months till I healed, I did not know how I could just stop my life. After all, "Every thing I do is so important," I learned otherwise! The only thing in my life that was important was to heal. The shoulder effected other bones so I had to use a cane. When I thought I would never be normal again, suddenly I was me. Nature heals us, the body heals, we are all lucky. OK. that was number one.

#2 : I fell off of my bike and broke my wrist. Not so bad to fall off my bike, but did my wrist have to break? so there I was again in a sling, physical therapy etc,

#3 got even better. This time I slipped on a Clorox floor falling backwards and landing on my elbow. Yup, shattered and broken; I was on my way out the door going on a trip wanting to leave the apartment sparkling clean. OK, all I had to do this time was have two intense operations, go to therapy, be incapacitated and heal.

#4 This was a nice fall on the sidewalks of NYC falling again on my lucky left wrist; ambulance, doctors, settings, healing. Good bye to those who had no sympathy for poor me.

Those were the broken ones.

I once fell off of a train in Eastern Europe, I was grabbing my luggage as the door closed, so went with the luggage on to the platform landing on my back. Next thing I knew I was in an East German hospital Ward wheeled in as The lady from New York City.... so that makes five. I had sprained my back.

The 6th fall was in China at the Ritz Carlton after sipping their lovely tea. Upon exit I missed the 2 steps down and there I was flat on the floor being escorted out of the Ritz and into a limo back to my hostel. I had sprained my ankle.

For the life of me I cannot remember # 7 but I know there was one.

As soon as the last fragment healed, I was up and off with my life, never looking back. OK. lucky 7 has made me more cautious. I have slowed down a bit and look more where I am going; spending more time looking down than looking up especially on the side walks of NYC. A fall can happen any time and at any moment. It is awful; nothing teaches you more how life can change on a dime.

So what you think am I simply a Klutz? Maybe we should all have four legs.
Carol Sue Gershman.

Being Part of the Crowd

Twice this week I went with the crowds, Fireworks and Lady Gaga... Guess what? My girlfriend stayed home for both and had a remarkable experience of joy in front of the TV... Me? I was pushed, shoved, told by cops where to go, where to stand, aching feet in high heals, no transportation home from the works. But I wasssssss there!
Carol Sue Gershman

July 4th/NYC

Fun in the city.
Have you walked the Brooklyn Bridge? They are out there in droves and it was something I never did before. Before I knew it I was in Brooklyn. Charming area I must say, even though I nearly had heat stroke on the way over.
Fireworks atop a restaurant roof top called Print was divine. I could have been anywhere in the world high in the sky with champagne and yum yum desserts. Only $100.00 per person to get to the roof top.. Ha Ha.
P. S. For the one hundred there was none of the outrageous music that accompanied the fireworks. They were tuned into jazz. Another ha ha.
It felt like New Years Eve in the heat getting home, not a bus, not a cab in site all the way over on 11th Avenue. Finally took off my shoes and walked the very dirty streets till I could find transportation. I sure did not care running barefoot on the side walks.
Lately, my favorite going out is staying home in my delightful apartment.
HAPPY 4TH TO ALL.
Carol Sue Gershman

Wake up call/ The Fall

Dear Friends,
Recently I had yet another fall. This is my 7th with 3 times broken bones. What is interesting about a fall, as my cousin just said, is you are perfectly wonderfully fine and the next minute you are in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Last year I broke my elbow and needed two operations. I healed well over time.
Now this particular time, I had just had breakfast with my lover. Mind you, we do not see each other often, but i know him for many years. It was divine to see him. Soon we would get together to have the wild sex that we both enjoy.
Moments later, after leaving him, I fell. I laid on the sidewalk not being able to get up, but did not want to call him. I waited till I got to the emergency ward and then called saying, "You would never believe where I am." He lives only 3 blocks from the hospital but did he come over? Absolutely not!
He did call later in the day to see what happened. I told him I had broken my wrist and had excruciating pain when they set my bone. We talked how life changes on a dime and he said he would call the next day.
One month later I heard his apologies. I told him to go see the Wizard, you know, to get a heart and some brains. We both laughed.
We hung up on happy terms.
WAKE UP CAROL SUE..... My fall proved to me that this man does not care one bit about me except for our wild sex evenings.
My fall proved this to me because I did not get it before.
Now do you see how my breaking of bones was a gift?
READ BELOW BLOG
Carol Sue Gershman

A Surprise Gift/Open it up

The Gift

Have you ever known anyone who said: I’m going through the worst time in my life -- I’m so happy! I doubt it, because when tough stuff happens it just hurts and its just stinks. Loss, illness, separation, not fun stuff. But what I have learned and what I want to talk about tonight is how some of the really tough stuff in my life ended up being wake up calls for me to change. And that these wake up calls, if you look at them in another way, are actually gifts. Maybe veiled a bit, maybe not the box of chocolate you wanted from Sprungli, or the new ipad, but another sort of gift.

Because there is one thing I know for sure, and that is stuff happens, and sometimes real crappy and painful stuff happens. The truth is no one walks through life’s doors without having some challenge come their way at some point. So the question is not how to avoid those experiences, because you can’t, but rather, the question is what will your attitude be towards it when it hits. Can you use it as a wake up call, or do you see it as a total pain in the neck and wished it would just go away. Do you allow it to make yourself miserable and angry and resentful and walk around with a poor me face? or do you take it and learn from it and change and deepen. That is the real meaning of free choice. How are you going to choose to react to the tough stuff that comes your way? Because it could bring with it changes in your life you never knew would come like where you live or what you do, and or it could bring with it feelings that you don’t often have.

A good example of this is, I remember some years back having abdominal surgery which made walking around outside really painful and tough, I was so slow, and I remember all of a sudden seeing people who were permanently disabled in wheel chairs and canes, - people I never even looked at before, and all of a sudden I felt so much compassion for them. That compassion and real understanding I never had before to that extent. That was its gift to me, to experience real compassion and understanding when people are vulnerable.

Or, recently my Mom broke her wrist and she told me She has never been happier. I said it has forced you to be more nurturing and self loving and maybe that’s why you feel happier, and she said well why didn’t I feel this way when I broke my elbow last year and I said probably because you didn’t learn to be more nurturing and self loving to yourself, and life just keeps throwing the punches until we wake up and learn the lesson, or experience our life differently

And that is just what happened to me. Years ago, I really wanted to have children. But I instead had miscarriages. I didn’t have one, not two, not but three miscarriages, and it was really very very painful. I cried all the time. But I have to say those miscarriages pushed me into a spiritual life that I probably never would of walked into without them. And so I’ve come to think about them as my wake up calls, but it took 3 hits for me to wake up. It was like, the first one came and boom, and I didn’t change anything, and then life said, oh no, she’s not getting it, lets go for another punch, and boom another miscarriage, and nope, she didn’t make any changes, and then life said, better go for the big bomb, and boom, the third one just propelled me out like I was a cannon ball and pushed me and made me take huge risks and give up my whole way I was living, who I was married to, where I was living, everything changed. Because that is how wake up calls happen, life just keeps giving out the punches until the thing that has to shift shifts. Some people get it faster, and some need a lot of beating.


Why things happen I really don’t know. Why you got that, and she got that, and that happened to this one, and that happened to that one. And this one has this, and that one got that. We really don’t know why.
Sometimes I think we are like an ant walking on a persons arm. The ant doesn’t know its walking on a human arm. It doesn’t say wow this is a nice arm, I think I’ll walk up to the wrist, or I think I’ll hang out on this hair, or I’ll rest on the persons freckle. It’s just unconscious it’s just an ant not really knowing or understanding whats going on. We are like an ant; we don’t really know what is going on. Sometimes I think we are programmed to not know.

But the one thing I do know, is that its not the experience but rather our attitude towards it that matters. Do you allow it to bring you down and feel angry, or do you see it as a potential opportunity. One thing difficult things do bring is a feeling of vulnerability. Maybe vulnerability and the willingness to be in it and to show others that is where we are is the highest state we can be in. Because in that state the heart is so raw and open, so not hidden in its shell of pride and self important.
And so fellow Toastmasters and guests, perhaps the next time you are just living your life, having a cappuccino at Starbucks, driving home, walking into your office, whatever it is, and some difficult thing hits you, hits you hard, perhaps you can look beyond the painful experience and wonder what kind of wake up call is this for you. What is life pushing you to see or to change, where is life pointing you? What kind of human emotion is it bringing to you, compassion, understanding, love, because hidden behind the rotten experience, could be the one thing you needed that will push you to really live who you are. And that friends is a gift.
Leslie Kuster.... (my daughter)

Organize, prioritize, satisfy your life

Make your to do list, prioritize, set your goals, do time management, organize, get up earlier, don’t waste time, don’t waste your talents, do more, do it faster, use your gifts, don’t waste your life, reach your potential. What all these expressions that I just said boils down to is one thing: Be productive. But what I’m telling you tonight instead is stop focusing on being productive, Just throw all this productivity crap out the window, and replace with something a lot more satisfying, which I will tell you about shortly.

Being productive is seen in our culture as a incredible virtue and perhaps in some of your families as well, certainly in mine as I come from a family whose every member accomplishes great things such as profitable businesses, to writing books, to being an artist, to helicopter skiing in powder, AND being gorgeous all at the same time. Sounds good does’t it,

But the problem with it is when we are not as productive as we want to be, we can get very disappointment in ourselves or start to feel inadequate.
I’vie experienced this lately a lot myself, and have been feeling a bit anxious about all the things I have not yet accomplished. The reason I wanted to talk about this tonight is perhaps some of you feel this way too. And so I have come across some ideas that I want to share with you which could help. What we need is a whole new way of looking at getting things done. So what is it?

There are three important steps.
The first is to Focus on Fulfillment. The first shift is to switch from asking how many things can I get done to what actions can I take that will make me fulfilled. Just this slight alteration is totally revolutionary. For example some things that make me feel fulfilled is having a cup of tea first thing in the morning in my favorite china cup and journaling, or spending time with my husband somewhere in nature, Now it doesn’t’ seem like I’m getting much done, I’m not checking off all my to do list, but I’m creating a lot of positivity feelings inside myself which brings me to the next very important step which is:

#2. Create value: Creating value is much more meaningful way to view how effective you spend your time, than just being productive and crossing off lists. If you are always focused on productivity, get it done, quick faster, move on to the next easy to lose focus of the value in what your doing. When you think of Value think about asking three questions is it creating value for you personally, is it creating value for your family or partner, or is it creating value to the community or world.

For example, I could of chosen not to do this speech today which would of freed up a lot of time to work on many of the other things on my to do list like my web business, but I choose to do this because I felt that exploring this topic had value for me, it resonated with me and appeals to what I’m going through and hopefully it has value for my community, you the toastmasters and the guests here as well, as perhaps it resonates with some of you and so. And so when you are deciding what to work on choose it based on how much value it has, not on whether it has to be done or not.

3. The third important step in all of is called following your natural rhythms. That might sound a little airy fairy. But it is an intuitive way of living. It requires some flexibility. It means paying attention to how you feel. Nature functions within the laws of expansion an d contraction, growth and death, and we forget that we are part of nature and there are times to create and times to withdraw.

And the beauty of this system is when you are fulfilled and you do things that have value, and follow your natural rhythm then guess what? surprise you are very productive and accomplish many things!

These steps may seem impossible and unrealistic if you work in a company and someone else dictates your time, but perhaps you can bring just a smidgeon of these ideas even into your day. Remember the 3 important steps when approaching that long to do list #1, focus on fulfillment, Second, Create value, and lastly pay attention to your natural rhyums.

Throw the idea of being more productive out the window, cancel that time management class you were thinking of taking, and replace it with doing action that creates fulfillment and value. Bringing these practices into your life will bring more joy and contentment and This is truly what is most important. Thank you.

Leslie Kuster (my daughter)

My famous ex-husband

Norman turned out to be my best friend. He is a particularly good ex-husband and I am a particularly good ex-wife. We are family and he is still the head of our family even though we are divorced and apart for almost 30 years. He is as well a great Dad.

Now he has become a famous person. How? He sought out the people of Albania; Muslims who saved the Jews during the war.

Nobody knew of these people untll Norman arrived and began interviewing and photographic. Until then and all of these years it was a well kept secret. Actually the Albanians did not so much as consider that they were keeping secrets. It was something they never thought enough to mention. They were doing what they wanted to do and that was to save the Jews of their country.

The holocast museum in Israel honored Normans work with a huge exhibition; next came the UN and now this unforgettable photographic journey is going world wide.

To learn more visit www.syracuseuniversitypress.syr.edu/.../besa-muslims-saved-jews.html

carol sue gershman

Don't forget to smell the flowers

We met at a lovely sushi restaurant. When he walked in, I knew he was not for me but never=the =less, I always enjoy meeting new people. He was much older than he looked which was a plus. From several wives, women, he accumulated 8 children, 2 adopted.
He must have told me 2 times at least what he did but I still could not figure it out; somehow his sentences rambled making no sense to me. No matter what I said, he turned it into a lecture with questions period. With crossed hands, probably feet too, holding on to the table he went on to many topics asking many questions. I knew he was struggling. To impress me? to show himself how bright he was? As the evening went on (food delicious) I was becoming more and more exhausted and bored. Finally, I told him in the nicest way possible, because he was nice, that he was quite intense. He said, "I have been told that before," I assume he thought it was a compliment and so he continued on. When the dessert menu came and he asked what I wanted, I knew I could not stay any longer, I had to get out. But then too ease his pain, I asked him, "What is your favorite flower" "Alpine, he responded. I asked when he first saw it and what it was about the flower that made him love it. Slowly, he uncrossed himself, leaned back opening his arms wide and smiling. "You are good, he said." You see I took him out of his pain and performance and brought him down to love. I stood up and said, "You need a hug, keep it simple my friend," and left the restaurant. Here is the poem he sent the next day.
Alpine flower, clear and bright
Perfection not purpose, is your plight
Delicate and graceful, upright on barren soil
Each pedal a dream, and a sensual foil
Robust and resilient, many seasons you have seen
Not cynical nor jaded, by winter, nor by drought
You guard your self, lest someone doubt
The true beauty that sits and resides in thee
Even a blind man cannot diminish the beauty that be
To be seen is not the reason thou be, more now
Hands need not prove your gentle touch
It is real, to those and all with much
A headless man could never taste, nor smell,
All that makes your spirit alive and well
The same you are, no more, nor less
It is not about any of the rest,
You hold the key to your inner beauty that be

Growing up at age 74

I do believe at 74 I have grown up a bit (don't laugh, its true) Usually when I go to Ca. I want to of course see everyone but then go out and have fun, dinners, parties, etc. But this trip I only wanted to be with my son, daughter-in-law and 2 grand kids. I felt blessed and happy spending most time at home.

First I will begin to tell you that they were not home when I arrived. Well I knew that they were in Aspen and missed their flight and would not be in till the next day.

For me it was great. I don't know bout you but I kind of feel bombarded getting off a long flight meeting, and kissing and hugging. This time I took a taxi, found the key to their gorgeous house, showered and relaxed. Next morning I bought groceries and prepared dinner for their homecoming. When they walked through the door it was brilliant to meet, greet, hug and kiss.

I visited their schools, sat in as a teachers helper, my son Roger invited me for a delightful lunch and visit to his sumptuous office. Daria and I went to the gym, had lunch and shopped and the last day we got into our pj's at 4:30 and just hung out with the kids till my son got home.

Highlight: I have begun a children's book and the kids class loved it. What greater test is that?

Do I have to tell you how much I adore the kids? Well I will; I am in love.
Carol Sue Gershman

Wow, could they eat

Today I went to a small breakfast cafe in Ca.
A decent looking couple sat next to me awaiting their food. She ordered a 3 stack of pancakes with a side of eggs and he ordered eggs Benedict with fried potatoes. The food really looked good and was prepared well.
While I was waiting for my vegetable white egg omelet, I had nothing else to do but watch them.
She coated them with lots of butter and then poured the syrup over, not so unusual but watching her devour those pancakes dipping into her egg was something else. They both ate in total silence; they had been chatty before.
Half way through they exchanged plates. He now had the pancakes and she had the Egg Benedict. She delved into her new order without even taking a small breather, and lapped it up with the french fries her friend had left.
Then they exchanged again.
He had left some pancakes and with the remainder came more butter and more syrup. Yum Yum.
Now of course this was all accompanied by a double size cappuccino.
Truly I have not seen people eat that much since 35 years ago at a Livingston Diner in N. J. when 3 very overweight people came in and ordered much the same and at the time dazzled me.
P. S. My omelet was delicious; I was full and wondered how they really felt from such a breakfast.
Have you ever eaten that way?
Carol Sue Gershman

My poor little Mustang

Oh, Look what happened to gorgeous Ms. Florida Convertible. Parked out in the cold and weighed down with snow. What was even more uncanny was me getting into it with a long fake fur coat, boots, gloves, hat and ear muffs.
It is all a far cry from the breezy, easy "Jewish Lady, Black Man's Road Trip. "
Carol Sue Gershman

Avitar/ not a fan

Yes, the world is going ga ga over Avatar but I did not. Yes I know it had many spiritual messages both racy, good vs. evil with the heroic savior, but I must say I squirmed for at least half of it. Lucky for me I am a meditator and when there is no other escape, I meditate, a great practice for any of us. I don't mean to say my meditation goes on for long intervals but when I can't take the boredom I leave for a few moments. I found the movie aggravating and loud. I found it brutal and ugly with gorgeous scenery. I thought the floating mountains were awesome but all and all I walked out feeling down and depressed. Oh well, maybe it was just me but am I that alone in this world? I liked the 3 D , that's fun and also seeing it today a snowy day in NYC was also fun... I was grateful when it was finally over. Hooray! I saw it and now I never have to see it again.
Carol Sue Gershman

Are you a sitter or a recliner

I am a recliner. By that I mean when I am home I do not enjoy sitting in a chair or on a sofa. I love to lay around on a bed or lie down on a couch
.
My girlfriend Janice likes to sit. Once she gets out of bed in the morning, she does not lie down again till she goes back to bed in the evening.

My girlfriend Clara likes to recline. Sitting in a chair exhausts her. When she visited Janice, she was sitting up-right in a chair for hours as they gossiped away. She had to leave the room and go to bed earlier than usual as sitting knocked her out.

Me? My old apartment had beds throughout..My patio had a divine bed to lounge, my living room was set up with futons so even when company came we would lounge on the futon beds and then of course I had my real bed. I would go from the patio bed, to the living room bed, to my bed.

So what about you? Are you a sitter or a recliner? Have you ever given it a thought?
Carol Sue Gershman

A sabatical

Sometimes we need to get away... know what I mean? even from our own selves. I was feeling quite sluggish so this week in NYC I stayed home, fasted and slept... I fasted on water and light tea. At night I had blueberries. I slept practically all day. It was the foods I had been eating that dragged me down and tired me out. I could not believe how great I felt the next day. Transformation. It is really important to watch the foods we eat. Green tea is my indulgence but even a little caffeine accumulated can hurt my system. Also bread is a difficult one. Better not to eat it or eat wheat free bread. Be careful with what you put into your mouth each day. It will make the difference on how you perform and feel during the day.
I also think past a certain age, too much exercise may be difficult on our bodies. My motto is be careful. Our wonderful bodies need to be babied; especially those of us who are seniors. Take care of you.
Carol Sue Gershman

A new friend

At a recent party I met a beautiful lady named Nancy; she had a little dog sitting on her lap. She said she carried her small dog with her at all times. She is my sisters mah jongg friend and I was longing for a game; Nancy showed interest. My sister e-mailed me her last name and telephone number the next day, and something struck a bell. I reached back 24 years into my memory and by the time Nancy picked up the phone I figured out we were sisters. I asked if the name "Per" meant anything to her and sure enough, she was the lady whose arms took Per from me 24 years ago. He was all of 22 years old at the time, while I was 50; he was a beautiful tall blonde Swedish guy with the sweetest smile, and I was crazy for him.

I knew back then how they met but now Nancy told me exactly how. "When he walked into the restaurant I was in, I tripped him." How jealous I was about this other woman back then. I wanted to know all about her, who was she, was she pretty, was she nice. I found out through a mutual friend (I do not recall at all who she was) that Nancy had not murdered anyone and was a nice person. Not only that I heard she was pretty. OOf! I longed for her to break up with Per and sure enough a year or so later she did; and I welcomed back his broken heart. He told me she had packed up and moved to Aspen and shortly later married some guy. Nancy knew nothing about me in this life and the effect she had on me, but I sure knew Nancy.

Neither one of us knows what happened to beautiful Per, the sweet man we both knew who gave us lasting memories sisterhood and now friendship.

Carol Sue Gershman

more to come I promise.

Lots of good stuff to come as soon as I get my camera fixed.
Please stay tuned!

happy New Year

Happy New Year