Do you tell your age?

Living agelessly means not paying any attention to your age and doing the things you want to.

To begin with, keep your self healthy so you can be here to accomplish all that you have set out to do in your life. Give up the foods that you are wearing on your stomach hips and thighs. It does not matter at what point of life a new adventure comes to you as long as you get it in in your lifetime. Please don’t have regrets when you are really too old; And really, too old , means when nature tells you to stop. There are the simple things one might do. Some women won’t go to a restaurant alone, or go to a movie alone thinking that they must cling to another person, their husband or a friend. I can relate as I remember the first time I went to a movie alone. It was to see Superman. It was back in the 70’s and I remember looking around at the audience thinking that the audience was watching the woman sitting alone and not the movie. We can begin new dreams at any age, new dreams that might take you down a path. Keep your spirit young and alive, refresh it with water as you do a plant and your spirit will grow

Do you tell your age? There is nothing more freeing than telling your age. Movie stars do, why don’t you? When you can tell the truth to yourself about who you are as a person, you will free yourself from hiding within your own self. It is a hard thing to do for most of us, but it is a catharsis. I remember as a young girl and not so young girl, lying to my diary. Imagine lying to myself to make myself look good to me. I could not face the truth. I colored how much a boyfriend liked me and the good times I was having even though it was not true. Have you ever done that? Readers have come up to me and can not understand how I could divulge so much about myself by admitting my weaknesses and my intimacies. “Why would you put that in print’” they ask. Well, why would I not put that in print? It is who I am.

Keep the fun alive in you that is god given and take baby steps in living an ageless and passionate life. There is always time for a good time and I might add that we all spell good times differently at different times of our life. A good time to me now is writing or speaking. A good time to you may be to go to that disco and dance all night, or start a neighborhood job or have a shopping day all to yourself. How about a two day road trip to a new town staying over night? Or starting a new business that you believe in, a new course. There is the fun of getting dressed up and going out for a good dinner with or without someone across from you. Keep doing enjoyable things and looking good and please do not think you look good without makeup because you probably do not. Be grateful you were born a woman and can wear it. Men are not so lucky! We all need to take some time for ourselves in this extremely faced paced and busy world. Don’ t you think?

To my contemporaries, I say, we do get older, but that does not mean that we have to be old. Going to doctors does not have to be the new social life. Sitting, saddening and medicating because we have reached a certain age does not have to be our new life style. So many friends of mine are doing exactly that primping up to see their doctors, waiting their lives out in waiting rooms just to get that one degree of attention from the other side of the door. Let me explain; doctors are important when we are sick but running to doctors for every little thing and talking about your visits is another thing. Mainly not listening to what your own body is telling you and relying on your doctor to tell you what to do, can really make you sick. Be your own doctor always. I hear women talk about their doctors as we used to talk about our boyfriends, “Oh my heart surgeon, Oh my dentist, he is fabulous.” Please do not get me wrong. I suffered a terrible fall a few months ago and needed two operations and doctors visits, but as soon as I was healed, I was on another new path.

I say, “trade in your pills for passion.”

I recently had my 74th birthday luncheon. It was an idea passed down from a friend. I took a table at a great restaurant and invited my friends to come dutch treat, no gifts please, and I arranged for each one to be given a separate check. They would come to honor my birthday, the day for us to acknowledge that we are here and that we are important on earth. In return they would meet new friends and give themselves a great day. Most came, some could not, but one good friend stands out. She had a doctors appointment that she felt was more important. She did not even try to change the day or the hour. She preferred to keep her appointment than come to a party. That to me is the sign of an aging spirit. Don’t get me wrong! Health always first, but this could have been postponed. She missed a good time. P. S. My friends all chipped in and treated me, a kind gesture.

I would love to know how you related to my obsessive behavior towards Xavier one of my downfalls, in my book. The women who read my book and answered that question, thought well, that is how women behave after a love affair. It was the men who were shocked about my obsessiveness. I have come to the conclusion that men simply do not know what women go through when they begin their departure from our lives. They cannot believe how a strong woman could go so whimpy over a guy. Yes, we can, yes, we do guys.

Now to the main question: How were the sexy parts received by my children?

When I was writing those parts I read one to my girlfriend and she said, “You are going to write about that?” “I said yes, it is part of our story.” She said, “You have children, you have grandchildren, what are they going to think?” So I went right to my therapist and had he said, Carol Sue, please leave that out, I would have. But he said quite the opposite. “This is your story, this is your life and if you want to write about it, you go right ahead.” I loved his response and continued to entertain myself with the good stuff. When the book came out, I crossed off the naughty parts for my kids and as far as my grand kids are concerned, well maybe they will learn a thing or two, at least they will know what old grandma was about. And to the younger generations who wonder if older people still have sex, the answer is YES WE DO!

I have also learned that how a person views their own sexuality is how they will react to the sexy parts in my book. Some eat it up, some find it an embarrassment and skim over those parts and others think it is a disgrace that I would write about such things when I have children and grandchildren. For me, it was the passion I felt for Xavier and like anything else that is great, why not talk about it. Especially when it happens at 70...



My way of living is not necessary smooth sailing. It causes me to have lots of traumas, lots of ups and downs and back then many frowns from friends. Those frowns I have learned come from their own insecurities and their own fears. How else could they possibly respond to you when you are beginning a new path, one they can not identify or handle themselves. On the path of living agelessly and passionately, one must consider that your friends or spouse might not agree with any changes you might want to make in your life. On this long road of learning I have learned it is best to listen to your self and make your own moves and if you do not get the support you need, keep moving on; don’t let anyone stop you from living agelessly. Your friends mean well but they simply don’t know how to get out of their own box. And it is those women who are in that box and don’t know how to get out that I speak.

By stepping out of my own box in the last few years with an interracial love affair, not only did I have a amazing time, but a whole new career followed and a whole new way of looking at life with endless possibilities. Look at how timely my book is; imagine that we now have a black president from out of the blue and while it is still not the norm to have a interracial relationship, it is not looked upon as anything that unusual. However, to my knowledge we have not arrived and there are still many who are extremely closed minded about this topic. I ask to give book talks in certain organizations and when they hear the title of my book they want to have nothing to do with it, even libraries are reluctant. The thought of a Jewish Lady having an affair with a black man is not anything appetizing. I can well understand because I was one of them up to four years ago. These same women to not want to be enlightened. They have their views and that is where they will stay till death do them part. My book is for those who are open minded and curious about life and life’s adventures.


Now having just turned 74, I have returned from another dream; a three month road trip reliving the cities and states I wrote about on our trip. I packed my hot yellow mustang with books, clothes, sports equipment, shoes, blankets, an array of hats. There was absolutely no room for a passenger and I drove nine thousand miles My very first book talk and signing was in St. Augustine, Florida. The town people were waiting for me as the book store put a write-up about me in the local paper. From there I travelled up the coast speaking and signing books at Barnes and Noble, Borders and other independent stores. I slept in a different hotel every two nights and financed the rooms by renting out my own apartment. I had a blast. Each day I would wake up and drive to a new place all the way up to Stowe, Vt. I took a one and half months break taking a room in Sag harbor, N. Y. I fell into a mecca of authors. I used to go to the Hamptons to play with young men, but this time I went with a built in playmate; my book. I met countless writer movie stars, took photos, and had my arms put around me by Alex Baldwin, met barbara Walters, Julie Andrews, Candice Bushnell the author of Sex and the city, went to parties and openings. I was written up in newspapers, appeared on local TV and radio. My last stop three months later was in Tampa at my nephews big birthday bash. There again, my friends asked, “how could you go alone?” Won’t you be lonely and fearful in strange places?”

So now, you can open your closed eyes that I asked you to close a few moments ago..... Have you opened them to something new? Take little baby steps, one hour at a
time and make the good and necessary changes in your life that you never thought possible.

My motto is 50 is fab. 60 is sensation and 70 sizzles.

Carol Sue Gershman