Girl friends.. are they not the best?

I have been blessed with many good friends in my life. When I was in my thirties and forties I had five best girlfriends. I truly loved each of these ladies and they loved me. Each one thought that I was their best friend and to me they were all my best friends. I guess there was one that stood out more than the other and if they should read this, they would automatically say, “That was me.”

At other times in my life, such as my teenage years, I also had a group of wonderful girlfriends These girlfriends were the ones I grew up with and I loved them all and they loved me. I am happy to say that two still remain my close friends but the others moved and we lost touch.

Then there ware the wonderful friends I had raising my kids; we shared our stories about bringing up babies and developed a social life around them. They knew my children and I knew theirs and the bond was strong.

So where are all of these girlfriends now? I must admit that the majority of them have disappeared from my life and two, sadly, are deceased. Perhaps I am the cause of why they are no longer in my life. For example, one turned out to have a difficult life and manipulated me into being there for her during these times but excluding me from good times. It became an unpleasant friendship according to her terms. Another friend was the cheapest woman I ever met. She would not even treat herself to a glass of water and she had lots of money. It became discouraging as she sat in front of me with her mouth watering as I ordered dinner. In the beginning I would treat her, and then I realized I was only playing into her neurosis. She liked sitting with me but refused to order. The friendship broke up when she saw the man I was crazy about with another woman and told me. It devastated me at the time and found it not to be necessary for her to tell me. Another, I loved lots more than she loved me and we had two arguments. In one of the arguments, I called her a bitch and that did not go over well; so she kept me at three arms lengths for the rest of my life. Then there was is my vagabond friend who flits around the world and impossible to reach by telephone or email. She likes to remain distant popping in and out of my life over the years staying at my apt and even when she is there, makes her own plans. I would long to talk to her. Another has a completely different life style than mine and many friends who she shares that life style with; but I do know that she is probably the most sincere of any of my friends and while we do not speak often when we do, history enfolds. My best high school best friend disappeared as soon as we got married. When she came back it was thrilling, but no sooner did we connect, she would disappear again; and the same disappearance happened with my other best high school friend who I have not seen or heard from since high school.

Now I have new friends and at 73 years old which is my age, I am lucky to connect with these terrific ladies. They have come to me in the last two years and each one is divine. One is my last boyfriends prior lady, and the others I met at Mah Jongg. I stopped playing for thirty five years and now we are have come full circle. We have also connected on a different level and have become friends. We all have our individual lives but when we see each other we thoroughly enjoy one another and have fun. They are also wonderfully supportive of me as an author.

So is this the way it is supposed to be? Is it me who has let them go or is it them that have let me go? Is it because we change over the years or is it because I have not been a good friend or accepting of their ways.

I often thought how great it would be to bring all of my old friends together. Maybe we can all get in a circle and play what we used to play in grammar school. I don’t like you because: But even told the truth, at this late date would we change or should I just be grateful for who I was and who they were at the time. Are relationships meant to last?