I get it now

My generation is checking out. By that I mean dying. One by one we go, merry oh...... It does look like the men go first although one family member was a woman. It is all so ironic, is it not? It all goes so fast, our lives, and when one gets sick now, that seems to go pretty fast too.

Take my sweet brother-in-law Burt. He died today. Not quite 75, the kindest, nicest and most gentle man who made delicious chocolate moouse and loved to bake bread. There was a time he would not disclose his moose recipe and then one day I begged him cause I was having an all chocolate party. Yum Yum, he agreed it should be part of my festivities.There was never a time that he did not smile and welcome me when we met; ask Burt to pick me up and drive me somewhere, the very first to say," sure." In other words, there was not anything Burt would not do to make the day better. He and my sister in law Arlene have been together about 58 years. They eloped one evening 50 years ago on New Years Eve and we were the first ones that they told. I was married to Arlene's brother Norman. There came a knock on the door one evening 50 years ago; it was Arlene and Burt all giggly; they decided to run away that evening and marry.

It was a brilliant marriage and until today I do not remember them ever leaving each others side. What made their marriage so great was mutual respect for one another. They came first, by that I mean before their kids. They stuck together united and no body came between them ever. They stood up for one another never siding with one of their kids if the other was upset, at least not in front of them.

They lived simply, never a fuss, no big parties or extravaganzas for them, they liked travel and when they were young they did a lot of it. Since their retirement a few years ago, they continued doing the thing they liked most to do, taking trips.

So what happened? Well, the cancer bug got him. All of a sudden his stomach started to hurt, he turned pale and went for tests; after a while he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. At first there was the chemo that made him even sicker, so they stopped that, and put him in the hospital, and then into rehab, then home and hospice came, and it did not take Burt long to check out. It all happened so fast. He liked licking Haggen das ice cream for breakfast. He was only back home for one week when he decided to close his eyes forever.

Arlene will be alone now for the first time in her life. Wow... How she chooses to live her life remains to be seen. Will she survive and go on? Absolutely but being alone at 70 for the first time in her life will not be all that easy. After all they were a team.

Tomorrow I fly to N. J. to pay my respects; I have to turn right around and come home, as free me has been booked for three months to speak at a luncheon. I can not disappoint them. I will visit Arlene again this summer take her out and talk about sweet Burt. I am glad he did not suffer; he got sick and never got up again. I love you Burt.... Rest well. It was a pleasure to know you.
Carol Sue Gershman